


One Hell of a Business

by bustyasianbeauties



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Hell, Knight(s) of Hell, OC, Winchesters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 03:49:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2413898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bustyasianbeauties/pseuds/bustyasianbeauties
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The queen of hell and her secretary are having trouble in hell. Demons are turning against each other, the Winchester demons are causing trouble; the system is crashing. -Unusual circumstances require unusual measures, so the queen (Mia) and her secretary (Kelly) decide to make peace with the Winchesters and work together, in order to get everything back in order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

Running hell wasn’t always easy. It might not seem like it, but it inquired a lot of paperwork, restless nights, and most of all, a lot of nerves.  
„Mia“, a small voice called out from the back of the room. „Azazel told me the demons in Sector 1 are making trouble again.”  
The queen of hell let out an annoyed grunt and walked towards her ‘sidekick’, as the latter referred to herself as. “Alright. Thank you, Kelly. Why don’t you go outside, get some fresh air, and play with Barbie dolls or whatever you demons do nowadays.”  
Mia quickly headed for Sector 1, ready to kick some demon asses. “It better not be the Winchesters again”, she huffed and massaged her temples, walking a little faster now. “They’re already in hell. I never imagined them to cause this much trouble. If only I’d known, I would have made sure they don’t take a single step in my beloved hell.” The demon mentally cursed herself for being so foolish, thinking a knight of hell and his brother would be any use to her.  
The Winchesters. How can you describe them? Stubborn, naive, not exactly the kindest beings in hell. They were, however, excellent hunters. Or former hunters, you could say. Now that they were demons themselves, they didn’t chase evil anymore. They preferred to sit around all day and do nothing but cause trouble.  
 _They’ve ruined everything. They've crashed the system. They've killed my most loyal men. If only I hadn’t let them in, I would still run hell without the slightest problems. If only._  
“Ah, Mia. We were wondering when you’d finally show up”, the younger Winchester smirked. “You just can’t stay away, can you?”  
“Yeah, where have you been? We missed you”, the older one laughed as he pulled a blade out of a demon’s abdomen.  
“Save it, Sam. You too, Dean”, the queen hissed as she took a few steps toward the two brothers. “Boys, how many times do I have to tell you-“  
“Yeah, yeah. _No more killing, no more fighting, no more trouble, you hear me?_ ”, Dean cut off the she-demon, flailing about with his hands to imitate her.  
“He’s right, Mia. We’ve heard your speech how many times now? I think I’ve lost count. One hundred and fifty-one?”, Sam snickered.  
“Exactly. And you still don’t listen, that’s my point.” The demon massaged her temples again and closed her eyes in order to calm herself. “Guys, this isn’t funny. Running hell isn’t exactly _easy_ with all these rowdy demons around, and you’re not really helping.”  
The brothers looked at each other and burst out laughing. “Dude, that’s what hell is all about”, the older one choked out between snorts and giggles. “It’s _supposed_ to be hard, man.”  
The queen was about to lose it when her ‘sidekick’ called out for her. “Mia! Mia! I sensed your anger, what-“ Kelly stopped in her tracks when she saw Sam and Dean. “Oh. It’s _them_ ”, she snorted, emphasizing the hate in her words with an eye roll.  
“ Nice to see you too, Kelly”, Dean retorted and finally put the demon blade away.  
“Shut it, dickhead”, she hissed and turned on her heels to look back at her superior. “Anyways, Mia, as I was saying before _those_ bum heads distracted me”, she mumbled, motioning to the two troublemakers. “Apparently, we have much bigger problems than these two smiting useless demons right now. Alastair is going on a killing spree again.”  
Kelly sighed and started listing names of all the demons that were smitten so far: “Jean, Shawn, Michaela, Natalie,…” The list went on, making Mia’s head throb harder with every name that rolled off Kelly’s tongue.  
“Jesus help us”, the queen whispered and started mumbling inaudible things to herself, most likely curses and, ironically, prayers.  
“Did she just mention Jesus?”, Dean whispered to his younger brother and raised an eyebrow.  
“Yup. That means we’re all screwed, most likely”, Sam answered. “We should help her, I don’t feel like getting tortured by Alastair again.”  
Dean let out a deep, long sigh and pulled his demon blade back out of his jacket. “Let’s fight, then”, he shrugged. “…Again. It's the same every week, huh?”  
\--------------------  
“Alastair, darling”, Mia smiled and walked towards him, her arms spread out for a hug.  
“Mia, you look even more horrible than last time”, Alastair smirked and went in for the hug.  
“Geez, I see you’re as charming as always”, the female muttered and rolled her eyes, letting go of Alastair. “Honey, don’t you remember our little agreement? You’ve gone past your smiting-limit. –Again. You always do. Why do I even bother-“  
She got cut off by Alastair, who put a finger on her mouth.  
“Now now, honey, shh. Quiet. Kelly, would you mind reading verse one, paragraph 2 from the contract, dear?” He looked over at Kelly and smiled, revealing his disgusting teeth. The girl cringed a little, but shook it off and did what she was asked to do.  
“Paragraph two, verse one: The conditions. The holder of the contract may decide the smiting limits, the receiver, however, may adjust the limits slightly whenever he/she desires it." Kelly put the sheet of paper down and looked just as stunned as her friend did.  
"Adjust... My contract?", Mia muttered to herself, repeating Kelly's words in her head over and over. Her right eye started twitching and she bit her lip.  
" _Uh oh_ ", Kelly mumbled and raced towards her friend. "Anyways", she semi-yelled, motioning Sam and Dean to step forward. "Please, Alastair, we can't afford any more of our good people dying, we need them. The people you're killing, and even you." The secretary forced a smile upon her lips to seem less formal.  
"And why in the world would I do such a thing? Why would I bring _peace_ to _hell_?", the demon snorted and eyed the secretary carefully.  
"Well, because-" The female got interrupted by overly excessive cursing in the background. "We _wanted_ to end this peacefully, if you don't mind", Kelly passive-aggressively whispered to Mia , who was being held back by Sam due to her cursing and throwing punches. She then turned back to Alastair. "As I was saying, it's because we need all the help we can nowadays, with the whole system collapsing, demons turning on each other for pure amusement,... The list goes on, I think you know the drill. You're an excellent soldier, we can't afford losing you- or anyone else in the handpicked battlefront, for that matter."  
 _Bang._ "What the-" _Crash._ "Alastair?" _Thud._  
" _Ha!_ That's what you get for provoking me, asshole", Mia smirked and put the demon-gun away. She'd really done it this time. Alastair was dead. Many further deaths caused by him in the future had been prevented, but she _killed_ him. She really needed to learn to control her temper. Everyone just stood there and stared at her, not fully understanding what just happened.  
"What?", she asked innocently and shrugged. "He was being an ass, don't deny it. That's how I handle assholes, I don't have time for those idiots, now stop staring and go play with salt or something." With those words, the queen walked off, Kelly next to her, both laughing like the idiots they were.  
"Hey Dean", Sam said without taking his eyes off the two she-demons.  
"Yeah?", his brother replied, still looking at the two females as well.  
"Remind me to never piss Mia off."


	2. A Regular Day For Kelly

"Hang on a second", a deep voice shouted. "Kelly, I'm talking to you! Wait!" Dean stopped in front of Kelly, huffing and puffing, gasping for air. "Man", he panted, "Never realized you were much of a quick runner."  
Kelly rolled her eyes and held up her stack of papers, which she was busy studying until the older Winchester came along. "I'm kind of busy, in case you can't tell", she groaned in annoyance, waving around with the papers.  
"No, I can tell. I was just wondering, uh- I mean, Sam and I were _both_ wondering..."  
"Just spit it out, idiot", Kelly spat, putting her hand on her hip impatiently.  
"Alright, alright. Geez... Well, we were kind of asking ourselves if you and Mia were always- You know, impulsive, I guess you could say? You weren't exactly nice yesterday. ...What am I saying, one of you fucking _killed_ Alastair. What the hell?"  
The female chuckled and threw her hands in the air in a surrendering motion, the papers waddling about in mid-air. "You got me. We're more impatient than anything. Now if that's all you wanted to know, would you mind leaving me alone now? I've got work to do. Goodbye."  
The secretary turned on her heels and walked off, searching for the line she had last read before Dean popped up. "You wish", the latter smirked and follower her. " _So_ ", he semi-yelled, making Kelly jump in surprise. "What'cha reading?"  
"Can you not-", the female muttered, clenching her fists. "How many times do I have to say this? I do not have _time_ for idiots like you."  
"Yeah, yeah", the former hunter mumbled and rolled his eyes. He put his hands behind his head and stepped in front of her, refusing to let her get away so easily. "Whatever you say, secretary."  
Kelly furrowed her eyebrows, not completely sure whether he was trying to calm her down, or upset her. Either way, she really needed to shake him off, or Mia would find out. "Dean, please", she whispered. "Mia doesn't exactly like you and your brother, which I'm sure you've noticed. So if she finds out that I'm casually hanging around with one of her most hated- how should I say, enemies?- she won't be amused."  
"Just chill, it's not like she'll hurt you”, Dean chuckled. I may not be the smartest demon around here, but I’m pretty sure she won’t lay a finger on you." He coughed awkwardly, realizing what he'd just said. “I hope this isn’t as awkward as I think it is-"  
"Just shut it", Kelly laughed. "Thank you, I never fully realized that. You're right, she's never hurt me before. Why would she do it now? ...But really, Dean, I have a bunch of work to do. I'm sorry, it's not just you, I don't have time for anyone else today, either. I need to finish all these papers, we're talking about a possible rebellion, you know?" With those words, she pushed him out of the way and walked off quickly, continuing to read the papers in her hands.  
"Yupp", Dean mumbled when she was out of his sight. "She's impulsive, alright." He chuckled, shoved his hands down his pockets and walked off.  
Back inside her office, Kelly plumped down in her seat and dropped the papers on her table, completely exhausted. "Time to get to work", she mumbled, sat up and logged into the computer. "Spam, advertisement, spam,... There it is." She clicked on a mail and read it out loud. "...Delivering in two hours... Blah blah... Same place as always, etc... Huh. If there's one thing in demons you can count on, it's punctuality." She closed the mail and picked up the phone. "Hello? Yes, this is Kelly. I called because of the order- No. No, I don't want to order the extra package. I'm fine, thank you. ...No, I- ...Just- Yes, I would like to pick up the order now. Yes. Thank you. Goodbye." She hung up and let out a long, exhausted sigh.  
The young woman stood up and walked out of her office to claim the package. A few minutes later, she was back in her office, opening the heavy box. She pulled out a bundle of demon blades and smiled. "Great. We sure are running low on these, lately." She sighed once more, sat the package down underneath her desk and went back to work on the computer. A few deliveries here, a couple complaints there, just a regular day for her.  
"I'm very sorry to hear that, sir- Yes, I understand. I wouldn't want my arm to get cut off in my sleep either. ...I'll see what I can do. Goodbye." ... "Yes, hello, this is Kelly, how can I help you?" ... "You should get some ointment for that, ma'am." ... "I will tell the queen immediately, thank you for your loyalty."  
So many phone calls, so little time. But being the amazing secretary she was, she always managed it.  
At the end of the day, she was completely exhausted. She downed her beloved coffee got out of her chair. “Done at last”, she mumbled and took a sip of her second cup of coffee. “God, am I glad to get out of here”, she sighed as she grabbed her bag and left the office.  
“Kelly, dear”, Mia smiled when she saw her friend walk by.  
“Hey Mia”, Kelly smiled faintly. “I finished everything. If there’s anything else you need, you know where you can find me.”  
“Love, stop talking about work. You’re exhausted, you work too hard. Try to get some rest, okay?”, Mia smiled softly.  
Kelly laughed slightly. “I’ll be fine, Mia. Don’t worry.”  
Nevertheless, the queen was worried. But she decided to let it slide. “By the way, Kelly”, she said lowly. “I heard you talking to that Winchester.”  
The secretary swallowed hard and turned on her heels. “Uh, yeah, he-“  
“Save it”, her friend laughed. “I’m just joking around, I don’t have the right to tell you who you’re allowed to talk to.” The female walked off, leaving behind a completely confused secretary.  
“Weird”, she muttered. “ _Someone_ ’s in a good mood.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. ^-^  
> This chapter is pretty dull, but I really wanted to write a sort of Kelly-POV chapter. Just because she's the 'sidekick' doesn't mean she's not as important as the rest. ^.^ Don't worry, the story will go back to normal next chapter. :)


	3. Chapter 3

“Stupid Winchesters with their stupid ideas”, Mia muttered as she dragged a dead demon away. “Bloody idiots always causing trouble...” She dropped the corpse and stretched, popping her stiff muscles and rolling her shoulders.  
Sam crept up to her, whispering a faint “Sorry” and nudging her shoulder, completely startling her.  
“Wha-“, she yelled and spun around. “Oh”, she sighed in relief and put her blade back in her pocket. “It’s just you, dimwit.”  
“Nice to see you too, Mia”, he smiled sarcastically and rolled his eyes. “But you have to admit, we did a pretty good job, right? That demon won’t lay a finger on you again.”  
Mia sighed and shook her head. “Whatever you say, pretty boy. It’s not like my opinion matters, anyways. You just do as you please. But you didn’t have to kill him, you know.”  
The young man shrugged and shoved his hands down his pockets. “You’re right, I couldn’t care less about your opinion.”  
“Ouch”, she sniffed and put a hand to her heart dramatically. “That hurt, Sam.”  
The former hunter simply rolled his eyes and walked off. “Call me if you need anything else, _your highness_.”  
“Oh I will”, she spat and turned on her heels. “…Idiot.”  
A few minutes later, the queen was back in her office, scanning through the papers on her desk. So much work, so little time. But unlike her secretary, Mia wasn’t sure if she could handle all this by herself. “I can’t believe Kelly does this on a daily basis”, the she-demon groaned and pulled out an aspirin from her bag. “Too bad I gave her a day off.” She opened a water bottle and downed the pill, cringing at the aftertaste.  
A knock on the door caught her attention. “Your highness”, a deep voice called out. “Sector 1-“  
“Thank you, I know what to do”, she interrupted him and waved with her hand. “You’re dismissed.” The female grabbed her bag and sighed deeply. She stood up from her chair and quickly marched towards Sector 1, massaging her temples. “Winchesters”, she hissed and stopped walking to calm herself.  
As soon as she reached the area, she was greeted by two familiar handsome young men. “Boys, I really-“  
“We’re so sorry”, Sam said and walked over to her. “We didn’t start all this, we got attacked by those douche bags over there.” He pointed at the four demons on the ground, blood still streaming from their lifeless bodies.  
“He’s telling the truth, I swear”, Dean agreed. “We honestly wanted to stop causing trouble for a while, but I guess we’re some kinds of… I don’t know, trouble magnets?” He shrugged and walked away. “You comin’ Sammy?”, Dean shouted from the distance.  
“Give me a minute”, the younger Winchester yelled back and turned back to Mia. “Anyways, I’m sorry about causing you all this trouble –again. Don’t take it personally, causing trouble’s just kind of what we do best, I guess”, he shrugged.  
“It’s fine”, she sighed and patted his shoulder awkwardly, almost in a friendly manner you could say, if it weren’t for the fact that she wiped her hand on her clothes in disgust right after. “Just… Go before I lose my temper.”  
Sam nodded and walked after his brother, waving at Mia from the distance. She waved back and turned on her heels, making her way back to her office. “…Imbecile.”  
She stayed at her office that night, working until the early hours of dawn. A few cups of coffee here, a little bit of paperwork there, and before she knew it, the sun was up. “What time is it?”, she groaned and looked at the computer screen. “Five o’clock? Looks like I won’t be getting any sleep, then.” She groaned, closed her laptop and stuffed it in her bag. She was about to leave when Kelly walked in and greeted her. “Good morning, your highness.”  
“How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that”, Mia laughed and patted her secretary’s back. “How was your day off, dear?”  
The secretary smiled brightly at her superior and clapped her hands together excitedly. “Great! I decided to rest a little, but you know me. Resting isn’t exactly an option”, she chuckled. “Anyways, I got all the reports done and-“  
Mia put a hand on her shoulder and shook her head in disbelief, a smile tugging at her lips. “It was your day off, which means you weren’t supposed to work, love. But I guess you didn’t quite understand that, did you?”, she laughed.  
A few chats and giggles later, they both went back to work. “I wonder what _precious_ surprises my servants have for me today.” And as if on cue, Sam Winchester burst through her door, a blade in his hand. Mia jumped up from her chair, throwing her hands in the air, and tripped over her own feet, stumbling back a few steps and falling on her rear.  
“Easy there, boy”, she muttered, not taking her eyes off the blade.  
“I’m not here to hurt you, I just need a place to hide. Dean and I got ambushed again”, he sighed and put the blade back in his pocket. He sat down on the floor to be at her level and stared at her, smirking. “Very graceful fall, by the way.”  
“Oh shut it”, she snapped and ran her hands through her hair. “But anyways, you can’t stay here. I’m the queen, in case you’ve forgotten. I can’t keep you here, you-“  
“Quiet”, he whispered and stood up. “You don’t understand. I got hurt the last time, I’m not really interested in fighting right now.” He sighed and put a hand on her head. “Come on, Mia. We’re allies, aren’t we?”, he smiled and she couldn’t help but smile back. There was something about his smile that sent a warm feeling to her cold, dead heart, she just couldn’t quite put a finger on what it was.  
When she realized she had been staring at him for a few seconds without saying a word, she coughed awkwardly and flicked his hand off. “Just this once”, she sighed.  
“Thanks, Mia”, Sam smiled. Jesus, he really needed to stop doing that. He ruffled her hair and sat on her chair.  
“Don’t do that”, she hissed and fixed her hair. “Comfortable enough? Can I bring you anything? Cookies? A beer, maybe?”, she said sarcastically.  
“Alright, alright. Sorry”, he mumbled and stood back up. “I think it’s safe to leave now. Thanks again.”  
With those words, he disappeared out of her door, leaving behind a confused and irritated queen of hell, who closed the door behind him. “Uh… bye Sam?”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this chapter. I don't expect this story to get more than one or two hits, but in case anyone actually reads this, tell me what you think. ^.^ Was the grammar alright? Did you like the story? Please leave your criticism in the comments, thank you. :)


End file.
